Social Media Nightmare

Oh no. Someone please, please, please delete all my social media accounts the instant I have a child.

I had no idea how little self control I would have. That is, until this afternoon... when to my delight, we discovered my absolute favorite goat (Buttons) had her twins!

Look at them! LOOK AT THEM!!!

Ahhhhh I'm dying inside like a giddy, proud parent. And they're goats. And I've only been the proud owner of Buttons for a month. And I love them. And they're not even my kids.

I just want everyone to see them and aww at them and love them.

So please, oh please, for the sake of my friends/acquaintances' sanity... strictly enforce a social-media ban for Kelli when e'er she has children. Because the world just does not need to see a million pictures of my amazing children.

No, Kelli... it doesn't. :)

Congratulations, Buttons!

Leaving the 99

I want someone to write a book called Leaving the 99. 

The more scripture you read, and the closer you get to Jesus, the more you realize how he aches for every single person he has created. He adores them; he smiles at the thought of them. At the thought of the one. 

Athens has been named a "launching pad". Being a college town, it's no wonder that people come and go constantly. But it's more than that- this beautiful little town in the heart of college shenanigans, is also swarming with missionaries. I'm talking a full-on infestation of people longing for people to know the King. Time and time again I've watched people grow increasingly antsy at staying still. They have an itch in them that lingers until they go. God be praised. If you are ever in a setting of people who genuinely love the Lord, you will instantly know them. They are the yelpers of the group- the ones who have an unfiltered squeal of excitement when someone gives word that a friend who had been searching for something more has encountered God, fallen in love with him, and chosen to devote their life to him. Truly, though. Keep your ears pealed the next time you are in a setting where someone shares that a loved one has encountered Jesus- the ones who let out a burst of excitement at that very moment- they are the ones who long for the 1. They would leave the 99. 

So what is my part in the story? I am a sender. I, of course, am also called to go, and I welcome and urge any of you to argue with me any time that I consider myself not called to go! But at heart, I am a sender. My passion is to find those with that itch to go, and to help them and serve them in any way the Lord sees fit. To encourage their hearts, to steady them in the rock that has become the corner stone, and to be by their side when they are on the field. To convince them that they are not forgotten, that their cause is worthy, and that the work is the Lord's. To be a sounding ground in their troubles, and a delighter in their triumphs. To God be the glory.

And that is why I want someone else to write the book. Leaving the 99. 

Because I don't think, for these, that it is the going that is hard. It is the leaving. Show them the one, and they are running! But it is the 99 that cause their hearts anguish. It is leaving those that have surrounded them and grown them. Leaving the ones who understand, whose hearts have beat in time with theirs. Leaving their families. Leaving their friends. 

Even Jesus went through this. He told his disciples that he must leave and go to Jerusalem and suffer many things and be killed. Peter (arguably his best friend) took him aside, with the loving nature of a friend, and said "Never Lord! This shall never happen to you!" Jesus hears the heart cry of his beloved friend, and it moves him so much that he has to proclaim "Get behind me Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God but merely human concerns" (Matthew 16). 

As a sender- how do I help in this manner? How do I help those called to go be willing to leave the 99? There is such cause for pain therein. Thus, I am so aware that this work is probably the most up to the Lord of any. To keep their eyes fixed on the road ahead of them.

"Jesus replied, 'No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.'" -Luke 9:62.

I don't think He is being harsh when He says this. I think He is being realistic. Because He knows from experience. He left his Father and the kingdom of heaven to be bound eternally to flesh and blood- forsaking all else for the ones who would respond to his love and receive him. To look back is death. To look ahead is to find life. 

And so, you with hearts for the nations- you with hearts for the one. Tell me what is your motivation to leave the 99? Tell me about the 1. Tell me your passion! Lord it feels like you say in Revelation: "Let the reader understand." Because there is something deeper here that brings life like we have never known it. 

God bless to all those who have gone, are going, and will go some day. Passion, Patience, and Peace be with you all in the Name of our Lord. 

Ridiculous

Husband: "You're ridiculous!"
Me: "You love me!"
Husband: "I do! Even though you're ridiculous!"

And this is the gospel. Said by my earthly husband, in mirror to my Husband to be.

Glory, hallelujah, amen. :)

When Good Intentions Yield Bad Fruit

So here's a lesson to bring freedom!
 

I have suffered myself much pain the past handful of years over things that I meant to be good, but had terrible yield. Close friendships that I watched fearfully or tearfully crumble before my eyes, and everything I did seemed to make it worse. I felt so rejected. And we all know how much rejection has good yield........... :) (oops!) It truly took a toll on my emotions, how I viewed myself, and how I viewed people around me. Leave it to the Lord, though, to help save me through marriage. 

A few weeks ago my wonderful husband and I were driving along, having a delightful little road trip back home. When much to my surprise, he started getting particularly irritated at a car driving tens of miles under the speed limit [not really surprised at all- it is a strong person indeed who can suffer such torture without becoming irate!]. Nonetheless, seeing my husband flustered, and wanting him to be at peace, I set about trying to cheer him up. Apparently my version of helping was the same as putting out a fire by throwing cans of hair spray on it. Once more, and yet again, my helping made things worse. "I will not attempt to convey the depth of [my] despair." (See Pride and Prejudice). Truly, though, I was extremely hurt by it. How can it be that when I was trying to help, I was made the enemy?! I will not allow anyone at this point to think wrongly of my husband, because in truth, he was not at fault! And that, my friends, is the lesson of freedom the Lord is teaching me. 

Sometimes the way we love, or the way we want to help, does no good at all! And when we see that, and yet continue attempting to help in the same way we have been helping (hurting), it becomes the moment we stop loving. 

Take Peter... darling, darling Peter. :) Poor bloke! How many times do his good intentions get denied by his very love, Jesus?! He tries to tell Jesus he will not allow him to be killed, and Jesus says "get behind me Satan!" [one of my personal favorite revelations- ask later if interested.] Later, a mob comes to take Jesus captive, Peter draws his sword to defend Him, and Jesus rebukes him. I'll be honest, I would be on the ground sobbing if I were Peter. haha. Still learning the art of criticism here, people. :) 

But here's the ticket: Peter can take it, because he has the humility to receive the correction rather than taking in swells of self-pity. Self-pity will kill you! Humility will save you. And believe it or not, humility involves not beating yourself up over something. Take Judas vs. Peter. Judas hung himself, whereas Peter faced Jesus even in his sorrow, and became the rock on which the church was built. 

And this is how the Lord is saving me these days. Healing me. Instead of soaking myself in confusion and hurt because my good intentions were rejected, realize that my good intentions were not yielding good fruit! And that's ok! There's nothing wrong with the people who couldn't receive love in the way I tried to give it. Sometimes we need to spend less time feeling hurt, and more time figuring out how to love the person in the way they need to be loved. And if there's one thing you learn in marriage, it's that half the time, the best way to help is to keep your mouth shut! :) Honestly, though: love the way that will help. That's my lesson! And it's making me happy.

And to complete the healing process, there is this:

"And when those who were around him saw what would follow, they said, 'Lord, shall we strike with the sword?' And Simon Peter struck the servant of the high priest and cut off his right ear. The servant's name was Malchus. But Jesus said, 'No more of this!' And he touched his ear and healed him." (combination of Luke 22:49-51 and John 18:10-11) Jesus heals where I wound. And thus I am free!

Repentance vs. Fearing Rejection

So here's a well-welcomed slap in the paradigmatic face: many times what I had been considering to be a feeling of repentance was really just a fear inside me that I would be rejected by God. I remember many times struggling through repentance, riddled with fear, and confused. Why was my repentance not alleviating my fear? It is because my 'I'm sorry's were really more pleas of 'please don't look at me.'

I won't pretend to describe how settling it was this morning when I was working through something and asked the Lord for forgiveness, and His response was 'You are afraid I will reject you.' I wasn't really asking for forgiveness... It was the only thing I knew to say in the presence of rejection.

Leave it to Him to ignore my request for forgiveness and go straight to "I'm not rejecting you..."

So many scriptures flood the mind: "His kindness leads to repentance" [not my repentance leads to His kindness] "approach the throne of grace with confidence"...

I could write about 10 blogs on this, but however poorly executed it may be in my own life, I do really believe that repentance is much less about how filthy we are, and much more about how incredibly holy He is. If I want to understand repentance and forgiveness at all, I need to sit and gaze at His righteousness and soak in His holiness. I mean truly sit in amazement and in awe of His glory.

Only then I can realize that Jesus was enough for me. And out of that place, I will find true repentance. Because then it is not out of a debilitating fear that I will be rejected... it is in a place of faith knowing that "oh my Lord, He is so holy and pure and perfect, and He was enough for me, and I am accepted by You and by Him..." and out of a place of acceptance... to ask for His forgiveness.

Have you ever had a friend so wonderful that you are able to lay your failures right before them, and know the whole time that they will accept you? It is somewhat rare and incredibly beautiful and freeing.

To be on friendly terms with God is just an incredible thing, and it really is no wonder that I have such a hard time fathoming it when I feel like I should have disappointed Him. But when I take my eyes off myself and really consider who He is... I can ask forgiveness out of a place of friendship. And that is freeing. 

That is when repentance will lead to what I had thought it would lead to all this time: rest. (Isaiah 30:15a)

Is That Necessary?!

Ok people... let's discuss detergent.

I mean if the name itself doesn't say it all... detergent. deter... gent.

Deter- "to discourage or restrain from acting or proceeding" [dictionary.com]
Gent- ... short for gentleman? ... or "elegant; graceful"

This does not bode well.

Ok, ok... yes, I know it is really an agent of deterge [to cleanse, to wash off].

But let me show you the source of my hysterics:

THIS!!!

This, people, is the source of my hysterics!

And this is only ONE brand!

TIDE!





I feel like they should have motion sensors that go off whenever you walk down this aisle, that immediately send off symphonies of music from horror films. Particularly that lovely note that is tension-riddled and sounds 3 times.  Because that is precisely what is going on in my head when I see this HORRID aisle!

WHAT COULD I POSSIBLY NEED WITH 4 MILLION DETERGENT CHOICES?!

It starts with the type. How do you want it? Liquid? Because if you don't want liquid, we do have it in powder, you know. Although... who can stand all that POURING?! Try our easy-to-use Tide PODS!!!!   Seriously America?!?! You can't just pour some liquid into a large gaping hole?!

But why stop there? Because there are soooooo many different types of dirt to get out of your different types of clothing. Thus, we have a different detergent, for every single piece of clothing you currently have heaping in your laundry basket.

We have whiter whites [because who can stand a dull white?], odor elimination [because even though the other ones clean... the smell is still horrid], sports fabrics [because those are so different?], Dye and Perfume free [because even our smell-good ones don't smell good], faded clothes [............. because our older versions apparently failed miserably?], and extra stain removal [not to be confused with the stain boosters, which is a separate product to be sprayed pre-wash].

Not enough? Do you want bleach? Acti-Lift? Tide plus febreeze? Tide plus febreeze SPORT? [HONESTLY?! FEBREEZE SPORT?!], Tide Free, Tide plus Downy, or for your special washers, HE Tide with Acti-Lift.

I honestly cried, outloud, in the middle of the store: "DO YOU CLEAN?! OR DO YOU NOT CLEAN?! THAT'S ALL I NEED TO KNOW!"

What happened to the good ole days? "Wow... that's dirty... throw it in the wash! ... with some soap!"

Done. Cleaned. Stain gone. Happy Birthday!

Ok... I'll get off my soap box now. Quite literally. :)

This post is in compliance with the annual Kelli-rant code, and has been filed under 'mild hysterics.' No clothes were cleaned in the writing of this post.

Just Another Satisfying Saturday!

So we all know that Saturday TV is just about the worst... but nothing beats Saturday radio! It's as though the DJ's realize that life really isn't all that bad on a Saturday!

Honestly absolutely nothing special about this picture. Except that I took it while I was extremely contented with my Saturday afternoon drive to the grocery store, listening to the aforementioned excellent radio shuffle. (The grocery store trip was great- yogurt, 96 fluid ounces of Gatorade, and new eye shadow!) I stopped momentarily at the Red Box, but about 10 seconds of cold wind while holding my four bags of groceries really was more than I bargained for. I decided I had plenty of movies at home. :)

And so THIS became my Saturday afternoon!!!!

The essence of happiness! Pizza Hutt Supreme (Pizza Hutt being the absolute best pizza, and no I will not argue this one, because it's obvious!), fluids, fluids, and more fluids, and an upbeat musical based on Abba songs! I'm sorry... how could one be sad on a day such as this?! Impossible.

It's been an excellent afternoon, my friends. Hoping your day is full of peace. :)

Cheers!! And God Bless!