Truth: \ˈtrüth\
-The state of being the case: fact
- Actuality
- The property of being in accord with fact or reality
per Merriam-Webster's online dictionary
I'm not going to write a novel here.
I will only state that the only thing that kept me from adopting this new-age philosophy that every god is the same god- that good people go to heaven and that there is no hell- is that I could not accept the idea that there is no truth.
Truth, by definition, excludes. In order that truth exists, there must also be falsehood.
I believe that Truth exists, and whats more: that it is attainable. And what's best: that the Truth, Praise God, is good and hope-filled.
I believe God truly exists, and that our opinion of Him will not change who He, in TRUTH, is.
My last conclusion, also, has been that Jesus IS the truth. the life. and the way.
Praise be to Him- it is not a matter of how good I have to be to get into heaven; it is a matter of how good He is to receive me, by His blood, into His kingdom. And I have only to sincerely love Him to be welcomed. Hallelujah!
And that's the Truth!
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
The End of Waiting
I don't quite know how to introduce this, so I will just take you back to when it began for me.
It was 4 months into the Fall Semester of my Senior year when I first knew I would be waiting. I felt it stir in me- not as a vision or as a word from the Lord, but almost as a dream- when you are in a situation, and no one has said anything, and nothing has happened, but you just know exactly what is going on, and exactly what the person before you is thinking.
Somehow, I just knew. Upon graduating, I would have a year of waiting.
This truth came upon me gradually, and I began to accept it, and expect it, almost without thinking about it. It became evident that whether or not I moved back home with my parents, or stayed in Athens, or made some adventure to an unknown land-- wherever I made my home, I would be waiting for a year.
I was not sure for what. Only that I would be waiting.
I did, however, know that this would include any form of worship ministry.
And so, upon my graduation, I was no longer part of the blessed worship team for the Wesley foundation. I no longer met with other worshipers who were diving deeper with God, seeking to be used by Him to lead others into His presence. I wasn't surrounded by a body of people my age thirsty for worship, and hungry to give themselves bare before their God. In His mercy and joy, He allowed me still to have a wonderful church who lives to worship Him. They have been a great encouragement, and a great place to rest and to worship among the people!
Half the time I have stood silent among them. Sometimes overcome by Him, sometimes too spiritually exhausted to sing, and sometimes just wanting to savor every sound from those around me.
Waiting.
And now, the year is up.
I can't say, really, what the year of waiting was for, what He accomplished in it, or what lessons I have learned from it. Honestly, I do not know, and I haven't felt led to consider it. All I know, is that I am at such wonderful peace, because I know it was what He wanted for me.
And you know, I think He just did it for me. I needed just to be with Him again. Not spending time with Him because I needed to, in order to prepare for leadership. In waiting, I only spent time with Him because it was exactly what I wanted to do at that moment. To sing with Him. To be with Him. And it wasn't as constant or as commited or as often. But when I did- it was because I loved Him.
And now He has asked me to lead worship for a home church that will be starting next month, comprised of some of the most glorious people in my eyes. They have poured into me time and time again- feeding me scripture and encouraging my steps, and reminding me of who I am by reminding me of who He is. They have asked me to lead worship, and I confess- I am scared. And yet so excited and so confident! I am so sure that God alone has called me to do this.
It is odd. I am at such odds with myself! On the one hand, I am jumping out of my SKIN to get to do this! Imagine- to strum strings attached to wood, and vibrate vocal chords- and THIS ushers in the presence of the most Powerful, and most Loving of all the heavens and earth?! And yet that very thought alone is exactly what makes me understand Saul upon Samuel's coming to proclaim him as king:
"Finally Saul son of Kish was chosen. But when they looked for him, he was not to be found. So they inquired further of the Lord, 'Has the man come here yet?' And the Lord said, 'Yes, he has hidden himself among the baggage.'" 1 Samuel 10:21b-22
Little Saul, hiding in the baggage.
I pray that my eyes will feast themselves on their Maker- that I will look to God, and praise Him because HE is worthy, and not because I am. I will remove my focus from my baggage, stop hiding among it, stand up and praise Him. Because He is worthy. And because I love Him.
It is the end of waiting.
It was 4 months into the Fall Semester of my Senior year when I first knew I would be waiting. I felt it stir in me- not as a vision or as a word from the Lord, but almost as a dream- when you are in a situation, and no one has said anything, and nothing has happened, but you just know exactly what is going on, and exactly what the person before you is thinking.
Somehow, I just knew. Upon graduating, I would have a year of waiting.
This truth came upon me gradually, and I began to accept it, and expect it, almost without thinking about it. It became evident that whether or not I moved back home with my parents, or stayed in Athens, or made some adventure to an unknown land-- wherever I made my home, I would be waiting for a year.
I was not sure for what. Only that I would be waiting.
I did, however, know that this would include any form of worship ministry.
And so, upon my graduation, I was no longer part of the blessed worship team for the Wesley foundation. I no longer met with other worshipers who were diving deeper with God, seeking to be used by Him to lead others into His presence. I wasn't surrounded by a body of people my age thirsty for worship, and hungry to give themselves bare before their God. In His mercy and joy, He allowed me still to have a wonderful church who lives to worship Him. They have been a great encouragement, and a great place to rest and to worship among the people!
Half the time I have stood silent among them. Sometimes overcome by Him, sometimes too spiritually exhausted to sing, and sometimes just wanting to savor every sound from those around me.
Waiting.
And now, the year is up.
I can't say, really, what the year of waiting was for, what He accomplished in it, or what lessons I have learned from it. Honestly, I do not know, and I haven't felt led to consider it. All I know, is that I am at such wonderful peace, because I know it was what He wanted for me.
And you know, I think He just did it for me. I needed just to be with Him again. Not spending time with Him because I needed to, in order to prepare for leadership. In waiting, I only spent time with Him because it was exactly what I wanted to do at that moment. To sing with Him. To be with Him. And it wasn't as constant or as commited or as often. But when I did- it was because I loved Him.
And now He has asked me to lead worship for a home church that will be starting next month, comprised of some of the most glorious people in my eyes. They have poured into me time and time again- feeding me scripture and encouraging my steps, and reminding me of who I am by reminding me of who He is. They have asked me to lead worship, and I confess- I am scared. And yet so excited and so confident! I am so sure that God alone has called me to do this.
It is odd. I am at such odds with myself! On the one hand, I am jumping out of my SKIN to get to do this! Imagine- to strum strings attached to wood, and vibrate vocal chords- and THIS ushers in the presence of the most Powerful, and most Loving of all the heavens and earth?! And yet that very thought alone is exactly what makes me understand Saul upon Samuel's coming to proclaim him as king:
"Finally Saul son of Kish was chosen. But when they looked for him, he was not to be found. So they inquired further of the Lord, 'Has the man come here yet?' And the Lord said, 'Yes, he has hidden himself among the baggage.'" 1 Samuel 10:21b-22
Little Saul, hiding in the baggage.
I pray that my eyes will feast themselves on their Maker- that I will look to God, and praise Him because HE is worthy, and not because I am. I will remove my focus from my baggage, stop hiding among it, stand up and praise Him. Because He is worthy. And because I love Him.
It is the end of waiting.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Monotony and Glory
Monotony and Glory
A day, like any other day, in the life of Kelli.
Well. It begins at 6:30 am, when I am rudely awakened by the loud screeching of my alarm clock-- the alarm clock that my responsible self has stationed at the opposite side of the room so that I am forced to climb out of bed and drag myself across the floor to turn off. [how I hate resonsibility at this hour.] Snooze, as planned, for 15 minutes. Then begins the fight to wrestle myself out of the mangled comforter which has somehow twisted itself around me. Return my pajama pants to their correct tag-in-the-back position.
Shower. Barely get ready in time. And not because I haven’t allotted enough time, but because even responsible kelli cannot account for the fact that my kelli-time in the morning stretches itself for as long as possible, and I find myself throwing dress clothes on at the last minute. If I were more composed in life I would chastise myself right now for this fact, but in honesty, I prize those minutes of sanity far more than the perfection of my hair. It seems I am more concerned with composing my thoughts than my appearance.
8 am, arrive at work. And dial. Dial for 7.5 hours. Dial a minimum of 130 people. Some of them pleasant, some of them humiliating, but most of them not bothering to answer at all.
5 pm, 9 hours later, walk outside and breathe in the outdoors.
At this point, I will occupy myself with various somethings and nothings for the next 6 hours before bed.
And then wake up, and do it all again.
I can’t help but hear the words of Misty Edwards echoing in my head: “What. Is the point?!”
Monotony and Glory.
Truth? I don't know. I know I am here to be loved by Him, and to love Him. But why the monotony? Most of us have a dream and a calling that will bring us joy to fulfill, But the reality is that most people will also find themselves in a season of monotony- a season of the in-between.
Monotony and glory. I know it's there. I know there is glory hiding in the shadows of monotony.
Why was Paul a tent maker? Did he enjoy it? What did the Lord think of him while he made tents? And why was Moses in Midian for so long before returning to Egypt? Why did David have to spend so many years running around a mountain before becoming King, when he had been chosen and anointed years before?
I just hear David on the mountain crying, "Oh God, where is Your glory?!?!" Let me look on the beauty of your face all the days of my life. Please! I am desperate for this. How will I survive, otherwise?
And so I come, singing over myself "monotony and glory, kelli. monotony and glory." And still having little revelation, and having little idea of where to go.
What do we do, when monotony hits the hardest?
So far, this is all I have:
"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." [Colossians 3:1-4]
And,
"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." [Colossians 3:15]
At the end of the day, no matter how I have spent it, He is enthroned, and He still is who He is.
Therein lies my peace.
I will need strength for the valley ; I will need strength when my enemies torment me.
But even as silly and frail as it is, Lord, I need strength for the monotony.
Monotony and glory. Oh God, be glorified in me!
"'Father, glorify your name!' Then a voice came from heaven, 'I have glorified it, and will glorify it again.'"
~ John 12:28
A day, like any other day, in the life of Kelli.
Well. It begins at 6:30 am, when I am rudely awakened by the loud screeching of my alarm clock-- the alarm clock that my responsible self has stationed at the opposite side of the room so that I am forced to climb out of bed and drag myself across the floor to turn off. [how I hate resonsibility at this hour.] Snooze, as planned, for 15 minutes. Then begins the fight to wrestle myself out of the mangled comforter which has somehow twisted itself around me. Return my pajama pants to their correct tag-in-the-back position.
Shower. Barely get ready in time. And not because I haven’t allotted enough time, but because even responsible kelli cannot account for the fact that my kelli-time in the morning stretches itself for as long as possible, and I find myself throwing dress clothes on at the last minute. If I were more composed in life I would chastise myself right now for this fact, but in honesty, I prize those minutes of sanity far more than the perfection of my hair. It seems I am more concerned with composing my thoughts than my appearance.
8 am, arrive at work. And dial. Dial for 7.5 hours. Dial a minimum of 130 people. Some of them pleasant, some of them humiliating, but most of them not bothering to answer at all.
5 pm, 9 hours later, walk outside and breathe in the outdoors.
At this point, I will occupy myself with various somethings and nothings for the next 6 hours before bed.
And then wake up, and do it all again.
I can’t help but hear the words of Misty Edwards echoing in my head: “What. Is the point?!”
Monotony and Glory.
Truth? I don't know. I know I am here to be loved by Him, and to love Him. But why the monotony? Most of us have a dream and a calling that will bring us joy to fulfill, But the reality is that most people will also find themselves in a season of monotony- a season of the in-between.
Monotony and glory. I know it's there. I know there is glory hiding in the shadows of monotony.
Why was Paul a tent maker? Did he enjoy it? What did the Lord think of him while he made tents? And why was Moses in Midian for so long before returning to Egypt? Why did David have to spend so many years running around a mountain before becoming King, when he had been chosen and anointed years before?
I just hear David on the mountain crying, "Oh God, where is Your glory?!?!" Let me look on the beauty of your face all the days of my life. Please! I am desperate for this. How will I survive, otherwise?
And so I come, singing over myself "monotony and glory, kelli. monotony and glory." And still having little revelation, and having little idea of where to go.
What do we do, when monotony hits the hardest?
So far, this is all I have:
"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." [Colossians 3:1-4]
And,
"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." [Colossians 3:15]
At the end of the day, no matter how I have spent it, He is enthroned, and He still is who He is.
Therein lies my peace.
I will need strength for the valley ; I will need strength when my enemies torment me.
But even as silly and frail as it is, Lord, I need strength for the monotony.
Monotony and glory. Oh God, be glorified in me!
"'Father, glorify your name!' Then a voice came from heaven, 'I have glorified it, and will glorify it again.'"
~ John 12:28
Friday, February 5, 2010
Proceed With Caution
So in the summer of 2007, I went on a trip that changed my life! To Honduras.
In 90 seconds: I know no one. I meet the leader at 10:30 the night before leaving. Leave at 4:30 am. Plane is broken, drive to Atlanta. Miss plane. Fly to Florida. Get suck in Florida. Staying in Florida. Get to Honduras. Creepy Honduras man tries to get money from a high school girl and take her passport. Creepy man ends up being our Jesus-loving bus driver with wonderful sense of humor. Play with kids. Get to know students. Lead worship under porch covering. Torrential downpour. Lightning strikes every time we sing "Jesus." Fall in love with people. Kids sing about raising people from the dead. Waterfall of death. Hondurans get arrested. Minister more. Get on bus. Buy fresh pineapples on side of street. Get back on bus. Semi-Truck comes around curve and crashes into Bus... Bus tips. We weep. Jesus saves. We worship. Drive back to cabins. Weep with guitar. Love someone. Laugh with people. Jesus rules. Joy reigns. Fly safely back to Georgia.
[Cannot continue before saying PRAISE JESUS!!!!!!!]
What a WONDERFUL trip, indeed!!!! Truly, thank You, Jesus!
But something else incredible happened while I was there. While no one was around.
It was late during one of our nightly worship meetings, and God showed up so sweetly, and so tangibly. I truly could not get enough of Him. And yet, when I wanted Him most, and wanted to sing to Him the whole night through, He gently persuaded me rather to lay down my guitar, and to walk away. I excused myself from the plans that were previously [and desirously] made, walked down to the lower deck, and found myself a chair so close to the woods that it seemed one step closer and I would be in the forest itself. And with the murmur of my team fellowshiping above, I was wholy secluded.
And just as fear began to take hold, He spoke to me:
Do you trust Me?
The flow of thought and conversation that followed is now both a blur and yet unforgetably vivid. And somewhere in the depths of our conversation, He spoke to me about love.
You see, I grew up in an environment of such extravagant love and protection, that there came days when I was even ashamed of how blessed I had been. And that atmosphere of safe love birthed in me an extravagant lover. How my parents were terrified! They poured into me so much love and so much care and so much consideration, yet they knew the world was not all-together loving or protecting or safe. And my poor naive little heart would bound off into a childish outpouring of love, which would inevitably be manipulated and trashed upon, and rejected, and horribly misused.
And so the world began to tell me that extravagant love was naivety, and that wisdom is to proceed with caution.
And so the Lord spoke to me about love.
Because I had started believing them. I was starting to see it- the rejection; the manipulation; the malice. I'd begun to believe that what I needed were walls of wisdom, and armor of caution. I agreed with them: that wisdom would teach me to proceed with caution.
He told me it was fear.
It was Fear that taught us to proceed with caution.
Given, He is painfully aware that the things we fear are very real and authentic things: deceit, manipulation, rejection... But His truth is this: fear is just as debilitating as the things it guards against.
If you want wisdom, fear the Lord! [Proverbs 1:7]
If you want freedom, ask for the spirit of the Lord to surround you! [2 Corinthians 3:17]
And if you don't want to be afraid anymore, ask the Lord to let you see His perfectionate love. [1 John 4:18]
He's an affectionate God. And if you are seeking His love, you will always be safe in it. And if you are like me, and deep down you just want to find someone that you can actually love with your whole heart, with no fear of it being trampled upon... consider God? I want to. I want to love Him who is fully safe to love. I want to see just how loving I can be. And then to learn His love, who once said, "If you love only those who love you, what reward will you get?" [Matthew 5:46]
This isn't to say I think we should be unwise in our affection, for Jesus was never deceived! He knew who loved Him, and He knew who meant Him harm. But there is a way to love in wisdom. And it includes those who hurt us. And it includes those who don't love us.
He included me. I want to include Him. And someday, when the remnants of fear are gone and I am fearfully obedient to Him, I will include all. Just like Him.
Until then, my weak love is still authentic. And His perfect love is still sufficient.
In 90 seconds: I know no one. I meet the leader at 10:30 the night before leaving. Leave at 4:30 am. Plane is broken, drive to Atlanta. Miss plane. Fly to Florida. Get suck in Florida. Staying in Florida. Get to Honduras. Creepy Honduras man tries to get money from a high school girl and take her passport. Creepy man ends up being our Jesus-loving bus driver with wonderful sense of humor. Play with kids. Get to know students. Lead worship under porch covering. Torrential downpour. Lightning strikes every time we sing "Jesus." Fall in love with people. Kids sing about raising people from the dead. Waterfall of death. Hondurans get arrested. Minister more. Get on bus. Buy fresh pineapples on side of street. Get back on bus. Semi-Truck comes around curve and crashes into Bus... Bus tips. We weep. Jesus saves. We worship. Drive back to cabins. Weep with guitar. Love someone. Laugh with people. Jesus rules. Joy reigns. Fly safely back to Georgia.
[Cannot continue before saying PRAISE JESUS!!!!!!!]
What a WONDERFUL trip, indeed!!!! Truly, thank You, Jesus!
But something else incredible happened while I was there. While no one was around.
It was late during one of our nightly worship meetings, and God showed up so sweetly, and so tangibly. I truly could not get enough of Him. And yet, when I wanted Him most, and wanted to sing to Him the whole night through, He gently persuaded me rather to lay down my guitar, and to walk away. I excused myself from the plans that were previously [and desirously] made, walked down to the lower deck, and found myself a chair so close to the woods that it seemed one step closer and I would be in the forest itself. And with the murmur of my team fellowshiping above, I was wholy secluded.
And just as fear began to take hold, He spoke to me:
Do you trust Me?
The flow of thought and conversation that followed is now both a blur and yet unforgetably vivid. And somewhere in the depths of our conversation, He spoke to me about love.
You see, I grew up in an environment of such extravagant love and protection, that there came days when I was even ashamed of how blessed I had been. And that atmosphere of safe love birthed in me an extravagant lover. How my parents were terrified! They poured into me so much love and so much care and so much consideration, yet they knew the world was not all-together loving or protecting or safe. And my poor naive little heart would bound off into a childish outpouring of love, which would inevitably be manipulated and trashed upon, and rejected, and horribly misused.
And so the world began to tell me that extravagant love was naivety, and that wisdom is to proceed with caution.
And so the Lord spoke to me about love.
Because I had started believing them. I was starting to see it- the rejection; the manipulation; the malice. I'd begun to believe that what I needed were walls of wisdom, and armor of caution. I agreed with them: that wisdom would teach me to proceed with caution.
He told me it was fear.
It was Fear that taught us to proceed with caution.
Given, He is painfully aware that the things we fear are very real and authentic things: deceit, manipulation, rejection... But His truth is this: fear is just as debilitating as the things it guards against.
If you want wisdom, fear the Lord! [Proverbs 1:7]
If you want freedom, ask for the spirit of the Lord to surround you! [2 Corinthians 3:17]
And if you don't want to be afraid anymore, ask the Lord to let you see His perfectionate love. [1 John 4:18]
He's an affectionate God. And if you are seeking His love, you will always be safe in it. And if you are like me, and deep down you just want to find someone that you can actually love with your whole heart, with no fear of it being trampled upon... consider God? I want to. I want to love Him who is fully safe to love. I want to see just how loving I can be. And then to learn His love, who once said, "If you love only those who love you, what reward will you get?" [Matthew 5:46]
This isn't to say I think we should be unwise in our affection, for Jesus was never deceived! He knew who loved Him, and He knew who meant Him harm. But there is a way to love in wisdom. And it includes those who hurt us. And it includes those who don't love us.
He included me. I want to include Him. And someday, when the remnants of fear are gone and I am fearfully obedient to Him, I will include all. Just like Him.
Until then, my weak love is still authentic. And His perfect love is still sufficient.
Monday, January 25, 2010
A little less armor
I am realizing I think the Lord wants to walk me into vulnerability again.
Willingly. It is very much a point where I know He has asked my permission.
And He has been so patient for so long. I trust Him.
And now my arm is in His and He is walking me down the aisle to vulnerability.
And I'm scared.
And at the same time, so excited.
I really want this. I really want to be open with Him again, and to trust His children again.
Life means knowing Him. ..... here we go.
Willingly. It is very much a point where I know He has asked my permission.
And He has been so patient for so long. I trust Him.
And now my arm is in His and He is walking me down the aisle to vulnerability.
And I'm scared.
And at the same time, so excited.
I really want this. I really want to be open with Him again, and to trust His children again.
Life means knowing Him. ..... here we go.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
I love You; I'll prove it...
I love You. And I'll prove it!
Wonderful revelation the other day... one of those that you know was God, because you certainly weren't going to come up with it on your own?!...
I think a lot about loving God more, and showing it to Him. Half the time I think I'm trying to convince myself-- constantly seeking evidence of my love for Him, just to make sure I'm not making up my affections out of nothing. He seems to be so clever at determining who genuinely loves Him, and who has falsely convinced themselves that they do. [Matthew 7:21-23]
Sometimes I'll just say it over and over, believing that the more I say it, the more He will believe me...
'I love You. I love You. I love You...'
I love You; I'll prove it...
Sometimes I will think about all those times I responded to Him and loved His children.
"If you love me, feed my sheep." -John 21: 15, 16, 17
'Remember that time I...?'
'I will love him...'
'I will love her...'
I love You; I'll prove it...
Most the time I think about how obedient I have or haven't been. Sulking on all the many times I have completely flung myself outside of His will or commandments, and banking on my moments of obedience.
"If you love me, you will obey My commands." -John 14:15
'I wanted to do this, but I didn't...'
'You asked me to do that, and I did...'
I love you; I'll prove it...
And then it begins.
'I remember when I was angry with You...'
'I remember when I flung her to the wolves, and pierced his heart...'
'I remember when You begged me not to do that, and I did it over and over and over.
Everytime You asked me not to, I did it.
You told me to surrender, and I clung.
You asked me not to judge her, and I did.
You asked me to be gentle with him, and I was careless.
I don't remember what I'm proving....
And the fear...
'Do I love You?'
'I love You.... i love You.... i...'
'do i?'
'do i love you at all?'
And then on an ordinary Sunday, just because He loves me... He opened my eyes...
'I love You. And I'll prove it...'
'You'll never fall in love with Me by analyzing yourself...'
freedom.
Do I love Him? .... LOOK at Him!
-He abounds in love! [Exodus 34:6]
-I can't even fathom His understanding [Isaiah 40:28]
-He is stubbornly patient with me [1 Timothy 1:16]
-He takes pleasure in me [Song of Solomon 2:14]
-All glory and honor and power and wealth and wisdom and strength and praise are His. Forever. [Revelation 5:12] And let's face it; that's attractive.
......
-He loves me. more than anyone [John 15:13]
Of course I love Him. Because look at Him.
Wonderful revelation the other day... one of those that you know was God, because you certainly weren't going to come up with it on your own?!...
I think a lot about loving God more, and showing it to Him. Half the time I think I'm trying to convince myself-- constantly seeking evidence of my love for Him, just to make sure I'm not making up my affections out of nothing. He seems to be so clever at determining who genuinely loves Him, and who has falsely convinced themselves that they do. [Matthew 7:21-23]
Sometimes I'll just say it over and over, believing that the more I say it, the more He will believe me...
'I love You. I love You. I love You...'
I love You; I'll prove it...
Sometimes I will think about all those times I responded to Him and loved His children.
"If you love me, feed my sheep." -John 21: 15, 16, 17
'Remember that time I...?'
'I will love him...'
'I will love her...'
I love You; I'll prove it...
Most the time I think about how obedient I have or haven't been. Sulking on all the many times I have completely flung myself outside of His will or commandments, and banking on my moments of obedience.
"If you love me, you will obey My commands." -John 14:15
'I wanted to do this, but I didn't...'
'You asked me to do that, and I did...'
I love you; I'll prove it...
And then it begins.
'I remember when I was angry with You...'
'I remember when I flung her to the wolves, and pierced his heart...'
'I remember when You begged me not to do that, and I did it over and over and over.
Everytime You asked me not to, I did it.
You told me to surrender, and I clung.
You asked me not to judge her, and I did.
You asked me to be gentle with him, and I was careless.
I don't remember what I'm proving....
And the fear...
'Do I love You?'
'I love You.... i love You.... i...'
'do i?'
'do i love you at all?'
And then on an ordinary Sunday, just because He loves me... He opened my eyes...
'I love You. And I'll prove it...'
'You'll never fall in love with Me by analyzing yourself...'
freedom.
Do I love Him? .... LOOK at Him!
-He abounds in love! [Exodus 34:6]
-I can't even fathom His understanding [Isaiah 40:28]
-He is stubbornly patient with me [1 Timothy 1:16]
-He takes pleasure in me [Song of Solomon 2:14]
-All glory and honor and power and wealth and wisdom and strength and praise are His. Forever. [Revelation 5:12] And let's face it; that's attractive.
......
-He loves me. more than anyone [John 15:13]
Of course I love Him. Because look at Him.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Baby Confessions
"BABY, I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray"
So what do these wonderfully compelling lyrics of the hit Seal song have to do with my blog?!
Here is my Confession: I have a new appreciation for the use of "baby" in song lyrics. That's right... I think I like it when artists sing Baby!
But hear me out!
I admit, yes, it may often be used as a flippant pet name for whatever nameless attraction a singer has recently feasted their eyes upon... Let's not avoid the obvious!
But my most recent composition left me embarrassingly dependent on its use!
There is a longing in a lyricist to write in a manner that both expresses the emotions and unique quality of the story's situation, while yet maintaining imagery broad enough that its listener may fully relate to it. Such specificities as names, or gender even, are hindrances to a piece's universality. They limit the degree to which listeners may lose themselves in the thoughts and emotions of the work. Specifics, by nature, exclude.
And even though I have never addressed the person represented in my latest song as "baby," I found this to be the only acceptable manner of addressing them. So, while their name is all but rolling off my tongue, I leash it in for the sake of the audience, and for the sake of that person.
For songs are often a writer's diary. And although it is nearly impossible to write a touching piece without addressing the intimate interactions between humanity, my own vulnerability should not be an invitation to read a page of someone else's diary. Even if I may be longing to cry out their name, I cannot permit myself to unlock their personal life like some tabloid nightmare.
Thus even the most intimate relation may be belittled to "baby" in song.
And as we sit sneering in mockery, the singer may in fact be weeping to say a name at that very moment.
So sing on, backstreet boys. Sing on, Olivia Newton John!
And thank you for your baby songs!
Title: "Kiss from a Rose", Seal
So what do these wonderfully compelling lyrics of the hit Seal song have to do with my blog?!
Here is my Confession: I have a new appreciation for the use of "baby" in song lyrics. That's right... I think I like it when artists sing Baby!
But hear me out!
I admit, yes, it may often be used as a flippant pet name for whatever nameless attraction a singer has recently feasted their eyes upon... Let's not avoid the obvious!
But my most recent composition left me embarrassingly dependent on its use!
There is a longing in a lyricist to write in a manner that both expresses the emotions and unique quality of the story's situation, while yet maintaining imagery broad enough that its listener may fully relate to it. Such specificities as names, or gender even, are hindrances to a piece's universality. They limit the degree to which listeners may lose themselves in the thoughts and emotions of the work. Specifics, by nature, exclude.
And even though I have never addressed the person represented in my latest song as "baby," I found this to be the only acceptable manner of addressing them. So, while their name is all but rolling off my tongue, I leash it in for the sake of the audience, and for the sake of that person.
For songs are often a writer's diary. And although it is nearly impossible to write a touching piece without addressing the intimate interactions between humanity, my own vulnerability should not be an invitation to read a page of someone else's diary. Even if I may be longing to cry out their name, I cannot permit myself to unlock their personal life like some tabloid nightmare.
Thus even the most intimate relation may be belittled to "baby" in song.
And as we sit sneering in mockery, the singer may in fact be weeping to say a name at that very moment.
So sing on, backstreet boys. Sing on, Olivia Newton John!
And thank you for your baby songs!
Title: "Kiss from a Rose", Seal
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